Seriously was way over tired during the weekend. No way could i have updated what was going on and what happened. Just had too much to do in "Vanilla".
First things first......i was given approval to have someone be with me physically. At first, the day it was scheduled for, i was crazy nervous. Master had given me approval to have a few drinks, so that helped. Then it happened. i will not go into the actual act of what happened, but Master is aware of the exact details. i just feel it's too private only because the man/dom i was with is also on Fet, and i don't think it would be fair to him.
Master also had given approval for me to be spanked. i cannot tell you how much that was needed. It has been a crazy long time and the satisfaction i got out of it was just what i seriously needed. It was perfect.
How did i feel afterwards and how do i feel now?
Afterwards, i only felt closer to Master. i wanted Him more. Still want Him more. Why? i honestly have no clue. Now? i still feel the same. i also feel that absolutely no connection has been broken between He and i. In fact, it's closer. He owns more of me now. He now has control over what happens to me physically by someone else. i love the control. i crave it. i need it. i live for it.
i will say again that i am glad that i waited so long for this to happen. i don't think if it had happened anytime sooner that i would have been able to handle it mentally. The timing was perfect, and the scenario is perfect. my friend also understands that Master can change His mind at any point, and he is perfectly good with that. He understands that Master has full control over me and what happens to me and what i am or what i am not involved with. He understands that i am fully dedicated to the one who owns me and that makes the tension and stress of being with someone that does not understand my relationship be non-existent. No more relationship stress or being alone physically! Yay. Big sigh of relief. Whew! Some weight has lifted off of my shoulders and i am sure some off of Masters as well. He no longer has to be concerned about my physical loneliness. This frees up more time for Him to do other things with me, as well as frees up more time for me to do what He wants and needs. i'm very happy. i'm also very, very lucky.
So, i get this message from someone that i have been talking to on Fet for awhile. He and his pet have sent messages and we had some good conversations and i had even been given some ideas for Master and i. All of a sudden, i get this message from him telling me that he can no longer converse with me. He says i put a strain on their relationship because he thinks about me too much. i have to be honest. i was upset to hear that he no longer wanted to talk to me. i was in no way trying to jeopardize their relationship, i am owned. Happily owned. i enjoyed speaking with him. i considered him and his pet friends and now........it's gone. i do wish them well.
Some other good news.......i get my foxtail tomorrow. i'm crazy excited! i get to try it on and everything. i just have to send Master a picture! Maybe i can post a pic too?
Master also has some things in His mind for other things for me to do now that i have someone that can be with me physically. i am really excited and really looking forward to anything and everything He has planned. This is a great step forward for us. i'm happy. i know Master is as well. i've pleased Him and nothing makes me more happy.
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