Sometimes i still talk to people i'm not really supposed to talk to.
The words of others, especially others of potential danger, i take seriously. i trust too easily and then my head gets confused. It becomes a real problem. i feel like a child. Master has had to tell me who i can talk to and who i can't. i've had to block 2 people today because He knows i can't say no. He knows i will be hurt and abused.
He wants me to change that. To be honest, i'd rather just be told what to do. i hate having to try to have the guts to do it myself. i don't know why i can't see through the fakes. Are there some question i can ask to help me determine this? Is my brain to much of a child to figure it out? i need to be under constant supervision, and to be honest, i'd really like that. i love that kind of control.
Master and i have also discussed other forms of control that i need to remind Him of. He is a very busy man. i had thought that Master wasn't bringing up these other forms of control because He didn't want to do them. i was wrong. Again, i should have asked Him sooner, and i should also know better.
Master is also going to be talking to my dom friend, the one whom i got approval from Master to have physical contact with, in regards to what He would like done to me. i like that much, much better. Master also says it could be more fun in the future as well. Of course i don't know what that is, but i very much look forward to it.
i'm going out tonight. Vanilla. Much older man than i've ever been out with. As always, seems like a nice man. Again.........my child brain. Will i make mistakes? Will i trust? Now i wonder................
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