Quite a day today. Not really sure what to say to be honest.
For over a year now Master has kept me away from being in physical sexual contact with anyone for several reasons. i needed to find myself, so to speak. With Masters help i am still learning that, but i needed to let go of the abusive relationship He had me leave. i needed time alone. i also needed time with Master. i needed to grow with Him, become more submissive and learn how to make Him happy.
During this time i have become depressed and very alone. This due to not having contact with anyone, but it still needed to be done. i would have not changed a thing. Master does know how to take care of me. He always knows what is best for me. This is what was best. Even the loneliness and sadness.
We did try and find me a woman to be with, but that turned out to be impossible.
Anyway, Master did something so incredible today. Something so selfless. He's given permission for my dom friend to touch me, physically. He's given permission for us to sleep together. He's given permission for me to be spanked. He's allowing me to be touched by someone other than Him because He knows what i need and when. He is taking care of me. What He is doing is also very hard. Hard on His end. i think this is hard for both of us. But His understanding of me and being the amazing Master that He is, is allowing this.
We had a very difficult day coming to decide this. It was also a little hard to hear as well. Your Master giving someone else permission to touch you other than Him. Kinda hard. But i understand, and our situation certainly doesn't allow for what is needed. For either of us.
i've learned that although i needed a separation time before i was physical with someone again, that i do need it. i also know that in order for me to be physical with someone i have to have some sort of connection. Someone has to be mentally attractive to me at first. To find someone like that takes a lot of time. my dom friend, i have a connection with. He's my friend, a really good one. He also understands that i am owned and understands my relationship with Master. He will never damage that or want to change that. i trust him, as does Master. It's a perfect scenario.
Lots else going on in my mind right now................i need to organize it.
But my dom friend has the rules of what he is allowed to do and what he is not allowed to do. i know he will abide by them.
..............ok, organizing........................
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